Everything can change in a year. Over the next 12 days, I’m going to spend a blog unpacking some of the reflections and aha moments of each month of 2022 in my personal experience. It’s been an incredible journey, and the most powerful, present, love, and joy-filled year of my life.
So without further ado, let’s begin…
January 1st, 2022 the roof of my “new” house sprung a leak. Sometime in the midafternoon, we walked into the kitchen to find the counter and floor wet. When we looked up, the culprit was immediately clear: a massive stain of water darkening the ceiling and forming steady rain upon our floor.
“Well, at least we got the home warranty!” I proclaimed.
(Spoiler Alert: The Home Warranty and roofer assigned would now give us the run around until July of 2022 before finally telling us they don’t even cover the kind of roof we have.)
Looking back, I realize that this issue became a symbol for steady irritation over the next 7 months. In my experience, when we have inner work to do, looking toward our outer circumstances for the sources of discomfort is a major coping mechanism. I find there’s often something quite meaningful and poetic about it all.
Leaky ceiling? How about… leaky codependent behaviors resurfacing in my relationships!
January was when I came to the dreaded realization that I was in fact codependent. That little zinger of a buzzword that many of my clients were suddenly talking about. It echoed, session after session. It even got shoved at me by a person my wife dated for like a week who never met me, but sent me a link to some AlAnon resources and shared emphatically how much it had changed their life.
Oh, and this was the month we had our Encanto Movie Night: the Disney film that made all of us realize we had some unhealthy family patterns we needed to work through. How much I resonated with characters in this film was certainly attention worthy (as was my partners giving me the LOOK during certain scenes).
Admitting that I was codependent would be admitting that I had not only put up with, but on some level accepted and enabled prior partners who fell into neglectful, narcissistic, or abusive relationship patterns. It’d be admitting how much I had let martyrdom and self-sacrifice be a part of my personality, and that it wasn’t actually charming or compassionate. It was just harmful.
So, I’d end up tackling this deeply in my therapy work, peeling more layers of the onion back to get deeper into that inner fleshy goodness of all my trauma and trials.
I also opted to tackle it from a spiritual level, beginning with a masterclass by Saoirse Clare McGovern, The Starseed Coach. This brought up a lot of recognition about the karmic cycles I was playing out and the patterns I had become stuck in in my waking life. I felt completely called with a full heart, mind, body, and soul YES and invested in my first “pricey” course (by my definition at that point). Starseed Mystery School changed everything for me, awakening my Creatrix imprint that I undoubtedly chose as a part of this lifetime. However, at this time I didn’t understand much of anything in the materials other than some of the basic principles and concepts I’d learned in other spiritual studies (especially Reiki, Shamanism, and Druidry).
January was also when I began my journey as a prayer chaplain and host of a series of Wheel of the Year rituals for my church. This was important to my intentions to make more space for prayer, meditation, and a relationship with the Wheel of the Year. This was really big for me because it reflected a willingness to step back out in faith and be seen in a spiritual community after experiences from my past made me fear doing so ever again.
By the end of January, I was already in the thick of processing!!!
January Intuitive Reading:
- Understand all trials are temporary. Be kind with my words and gentle with myself.
- Started my journey as a prayer chaplain
- Began studying in Starseed Mystery School
- Created & uploaded my first “free gift” on my website for building a list
- Realizing my schedule feels too packed, & I need to make more room for myself to just exist in the moment.
- Some intimacy-related trauma surfacing to be worked through.
- Began working with my very first business coach (introduced to me by a dear friend)
- Began opening up about some of my trauma with my partners
Lessons Integrated in January:
- Attempting to support or help others who do not want help is not conducive to my time or energy and does not honor my boundaries.
- I am grateful for clarity.
- I am not a product of Ego.
- I acknowledge and honor my free will.
- I believe life is happening for me, not to me.
- I experience my human body without shame.
- I meet myself and others with compassion.
- All good things are within my grasp.
What might happen if you gave yourself the gift of a year? The gift of coming present to significant, beautiful moments throughout each season? What could you become aware of? Grow? Discover?
If you’re wondering just how magical life can be, I invite you to join me for the Silver Wheel Spiritual Circle, enrolling now for the Spring 2023 cohort. We begin February 2nd, 2022. Will you be there?
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